time is on my side...

So, I'm still not back to Texas time...or regular time.
L.A. is two hours, earlier, I think. Nashville is the same time, but all the flights, the early mornings and late nights and excitement, has me a bit turned around.

In Nashville, I watched my daughter run the 1/2 marathon, her first. I tried to find her at mile 2.5 but missed her. I waited at the 7 mile mark for her, all the time scanning the oncoming runners and yelling "Way to go runners!" "You're doing great!" "you guys are awesome" and all of those things you yell when you're inspired at people of all shapes, sizes, ages running on a hot day with live country music playing in the background. I get excited when I see the determined faces of people who never thought they'd run 3 miles, much less 13 or 26. When they have a prosthetic leg or are in a wheel chair, I start crying, amazed at the resilience, the look of joy on their face, the idea that life could take away a leg, but not their spirit.

Ace made us both t-shirts to wear. They were painted in bright colors, my daughter was always big on painted t-shirts with messages. When I put mine on, I was reminded of the time she made me a ring out of brightly colored wires. It was huge and it had big round circles that twirled around my finger and projected above it. She gave it to me on a Sunday night and told me it was for me to wear to work. I told her it was beautiful and told her I'd wear it the next day. She made me promise not to take it off all day, and of course I promised. I walked into work the next day with my giant brightly colored ring and soon forgot about it, until it would catch on my clothes or the rings of my binder. Some people looked at it, then at me, and raised their eyebrows but didn't say anything. Finally a woman I worked with, a chic lady, but not a very friendly lady, said jokingly "nice ring, Stacy". "Thanks!" "Uh, where'd you get that?" "My daughter made it." "Nice...uh...you know that she'll never know if you don't wear it right? " "Why wouldn't I want to wear it?" She just stared blankly. It was an Office moment, only better.

My shirt was a big white man's t-shirt with pink and purple lettering and dots everywhere. It is designed to inspire, and it worked. On the front it says "Whatever it is, you can do it", and "Go Ace" on the back. As the runners ran past me, they'd stare at the shirt, read it and smile at me, "thanks for being here", "love the shirt", "gosh, thanks, I needed that". One kid even came up to me and said, "you are awesome!" (Yeah, I think I am, thanks to my kid.)

When I finally saw Ace, the people around me all yelled for her and cheered her on. I ran with her for a bit, told her how great she was doing, told her I'd meet her at the finish line, if not before. She took off, happily running along to mile 9.

We met up again at the finish line, after I'd made friends with other observers, had more coffee and felt the Nashville love.

Now back at home, I'm faced with deadlines, wet dogs, editing to do, work to do, DVDs to prepare. My to do list is big. The good thing is I'm totally up to it, I am surrounded by people who support me and encourage me, who don't try to make me feel insane for working at being a working filmmaker. I feel like I'm almost at my prime, nearing it.

And at the end of May, it will all be worth it when Ace and I fly to Paris and rent that car and drive around and wander the world a bit.

home for a bit...

Home from L.A.

Today was breakfast with two friends helping us shop BB followed by a drive to Santa Monica and lunch with a famous director who we thought was an animator. Is there anything nicer than a walk by the ocean with someone very nice who you don't know is a famous director, who buys you fresh iced tea and talks about stories and puppets and you can share stories about your kids with who you only later realize was actually nominated for an Oscar? There might be something nicer on a Thursday just after noon, but I can't think of it right now.

Right now, Cowgirl is so very happy to see me and clothes are purring in the Maytag and Keni just got his nighttime pill and Tux waddled up to greet me and a hot bath is running.

Tomorrow I head to Nashville to watch my daughter run the 1/2 marathon and meet her "friend" and bask in her coolness.

Right now, I'm basking in being home with my gang.

More highlights from the trip:
A lovely long lunch with the Eve of Understanding ladies
Coffee with Brad who I adore, though I have only known him a little while, we get each other
Pizza and frenchfries with Ms. Julia C.
Dinner with Catherine and Aaron and the cupcakes, we shared
(note Kat was there for all of these occasions, too, and was her usual sweet self)
And, of course meeting little Audrey Marsh and seeing her pround parents
Here are Kat and I telling her stories and falling in love with her:

Universal Studios

Yesterday Kat and I got a tour of the Universal backlot by two friends who work there.
Here's what we saw:
Whoville
KingKong with and without his head
The hotel from Psycho
the baseball field used in countless films
Wisteria Lane
New York
Mexico
Texas
- all right there in the middle of Universal City

But the best thing, even more exciting than all of this was seeing part of the Sunset Boulevard set. I couldn't take a picture, but remember where the writer's office is in the beginning of the film? Yep, I was there, saw it, and it was pretty thrilling.

Then something else exciting happened! Kat and I were signed into the Universal Studios theme park as VIPs. We headed straight over to the House of Horrors, then to the Shrek show, the Mummy ride, we got pictures with Frankenstein and Dora the Explorer and basically just ran around a lot. I turn about 10 years old in theme parks. Yes, I think they are overpriced and full of marketing and silliness, but when I'm in one, I can get into it and enjoy myself pretty thoroughly.

Last night we met Kat's cousin for dinner. I had a nice glass of California wine and our shared pizza and french fries.

I'm getting a little overwhelmed by how much I have to get done before I leave for France, just 3 books, a rough cut of the documentary, a few outlines for new projects, roadtrip to Nashville to move Annalise for the summer, lots of phone calls. But, hey, I'm happy, doing work I love and surrounded by people who support me. Really, can a girl ask for more?

L.A. Stories

Yesterday was full of meetings and surprises and surprise meetings.
Our tally:
Number of celebrity sitings - 0
Number of parking tickets - 2
Cups of coffee/chai tee - 5
Number of glasses of depth recharger at the Elixir teahouse - 1

I decided against having any "elixir extras" in my depth recharger tea, but they sounded promising. With just an extra $4 one could destress, rehydrate, oxidate and/or heal. In fact, an L.A. girl, walked in, cellphone in ear, stating that she needed 4 destress elixirs in her tea. When she was told it would make the tea bitter, she said that was okay, the stress was too intense.
Witnessing the exchange stressed me out, so I took a time-out to sit with Kat in the tea drinking area, a sunny yard surrounded by bamboo.


We had some amazing Japanese hot noodle soup for dinner. Contrary to my expectations, L.A. is cool, even in April. I processed the meetings in my sleep and work up ready for today.
Just had a nice run through the park and some good coffee and soon we'll head to Universal Studios where we'll get to ride the rides and take a free tour.

noticing when you are happy

Kurt Vonnegut said "notice when you are happy."
Twice lately I've noticed times when I was happy, deeply happy.

I decided on Friday to take Roy Bean, my chubby, sweet, fluffy mutt on a run with me. The first mile was like we had stepped right into the land of joy and delight. Roy was happy, ecstatic, unstoppable. We were fast, super fast, and both of us were happy. Many times, people commented on how cute we looked running together, people waved at us and pointed from their cars. It was fun, pure, goofy fun. We ran this way for a mile and a half, until Roy got a bit tired and winded. We slowed down, but we didn't stop. On the way back, we slowed to a walk for a bit and smelled the wildflowers off the trail and drank a little water before taking off again. A biker saw us and grinned and waved like he knew us. When we got home, I took Cowgirl out for a run around the hood. Her little sideways scoot is super fast and she too was delighted to be taken for a run. I'll do this more often.

Tonight, I took my xl1 to a local mobile home park to document a woman who is moving from homelessness into her own RV. I didn't know if I'd know her, but I did. She was one of the ladies in the cold weather shelter the night I volunteered this winter. She was a frequent visitor to Trinity, too. Tonight she gave me a tour of her new home and showed me where she was going to put some tomato plants and the window over her kitchen where she sees the sun come up in the mornings. She was surrounded by friends and barbecue and neighbors and for the second time this weekend, I felt it, deeply, luckily, happy. Sometimes things work out.

Off to L.A. tomorrow, late night of packing and prepping.

late night delirium part 2

Kat posted some pictures on her blog from last night's hijinks. We were working until 3:30 a.m. and we got stupid silly and had fun with photo booth while compiling a DVD of the projects created by the talented filmmakers in the Script to Screen workshop she just completed. As the technical wizard of the duo, I was busily compiling, time-lining, compressing, etc. but it turns out that even wizards have off days and what we thought would be a couple of hours turned into several hours.

Late Night Delirium, A photographic journey...








Rocker girls at midnight.

Blue moon, 2 a.m.


We learned there is a direct relation to computer speed and doing the now famous Superman pose. Your superhero powers will not fail you, not even at 3 in the morning.

Superman 2: Keep the faith.

What can I say, the class turned out some amazing films, and while it took some time, it was worth it.

I crowned myself DVD Empress of Austin at 3:30 a.m., while Kat tested the DVD on the big screen.

Welcome little Audrey Marsh

Lorie and Ken Marsh welcomed little Audrey Marsh into the world on Tuesday 4/17. I will get to meet her in person this Sunday evening in L.A.
Everyone is doing just fine and happy as can be.

day brightener

Found this image and link on a dress a day, one of my favorite blogs. As she says, 'if you aren't going "awwwwwwww" right now, you're awwww-er is broken and you need medical attention.'


This blog makes me wish I could sew, a skill I haven't even tried to learn since Mrs. Bauchschmidt gave me a C- in Home Ec for sewing my sleeves on backwards. Poor Mrs. Bauchschmidt, she might have meant well, but she was teaching "home skills" to 8th grade girls who can't understand why they can't take shop and make bookcases and learn to use power tools instead.
Today, I can hem, make curtains and pillows and I have two sewing machines and a very good friend who can sew anything.

Virginia

Soon we'll have names and faces of all the people who died at VA tech yesterday. We'll know the shooter's life story, too.

Today, we just feel powerless and heartbroken at the loss and devastation that a gun can do in the hands of someone who lost their mind. I can't stop thinking about the parents and the phone calls they've been getting and the heavy grief that will be a part of so many lives for so long. I'm glad it's raining today.

(Why do 9mm guns need to shoot 19 rounds before being reloaded and why anyone can buy one? Why is mental health care stigmatised when it affects so many people? Why isn't mental health care part of most insurance plans when a person can get over a bad virus much quicker than a battle with depression or schizophrenia? Why can people still say "guns don't kill people, people kill people", when a 9mm automatic can do so much damage in so little time and when a man walking around with a big stick could be much more easily overtaken and wouldn't be able to shoot a teacher pointblank in the head?)

the lives of others and people who talk in movies...

The Lives of Others is the best movie I've seen in the theatres this year. It's brilliant, flawless. It's a tight story, complete. Set in Eastern Germany before the wall came down, the film shows how fear, power, lust and art, cross, collide, and destroy. Art trumps bureaucracy, but just barely.

The film was so good, that the woman in the big hat who set several rows behind me and talked for much of the film was at first easy to ignore. I thought her muttering must be the soundtrack from the next door screen, at first, as only an idiot would talk during such a fine film.
But talk she did.
We moved down several rows, creating more distance between her voice and us.
She talked louder.
I could take it no more...

I approached her and said, "Please, please please stop talking. Please!"
Her response: "Oh, am I talking too loudly?"
Me: "Uh, yes."
Clearly idiots do occasionally stumble into good movies.

Back at my seat, I settled in and the woman did shut up for about half an hour, then she was a little quieter, but not much.

The theatre even gave us free passes for another movie as other people complained, too... I need to remember to bring my "Please don't talk in the movie" buttons with me next time.

This is the first time I've ever actually gone up to someone in a theatre rather than just shushing at them. Maybe it's because I've seen too many people walking around in stores talking on their cell phone, bumping their buggies into people, or standing at counters talking on their phone, or driving into my lane while they are on their damn cell phone. It probably didn't do any good, Big Hat Lady is probably a chronic movie talker, but if you see a tiny woman in a big hat, at the Regal Arbor, it might be Big Hat Lady.

R.

I woke this morning feeling a bit off, I shook off a crazy dream and went for a long run before meeting Kat at ASF to show her some DVD burning tricks. I was just leaving, telling a friend about how I'd been working on a homeless doc off and on and off again and was walking to my car, when I saw R.

R. is easy to spot. He has Parkinsons and walks with a crooked limp. His speech is difficult to follow, but over the years I've learned how to listen to him. He kind of comes and goes from Trinity. I'll see him once in a blue moon, or he'll leave me a note sometimes. I bonded with him over breakfast in my first year at Trinity. There he was all of a sudden, saying something to me I couldn't understand, and then helping me put out breakfast for everyone. When I asked him why he didn't want any, he pointed at his mouth, then I understood him, "no teeth". I found a packet of instant oatmeal and made him some and we were friends, that simple. He would sometimes come in and just say he needed to talk and then he'd sit and fall asleep, or tell me a stupid joke, or a story. I followed along as best I could until I finally got to where I could understand him well enough that he'd want me to "translate" for him when he had to talk on the phone or with someone official.

He's a small guy and today he was stumbling, holding a sleeping bag around him, carrying several bags.

So, what to do?

• If I drive over to him, and ask how he's doing, I know I'll feel compelled to do something. I have no cash on me, plus I have a rule about not giving money to my homeless friends. I'll describe exactly why one day, but it's a rule that works for me.
  
• I could pretend not to see him and just continue my day, I've got a lot to do.

I've been having a long running debate with one of homeless friends, K. about whether we are really "friends" or not and whether it's even possible for the homed and the homeless to be friends. According to K., friends are people you can tell everything about anything. He can't tell me everything, so maybe I'm not a friend, at least in that sense. My definition of a friend is slightly different. To me, friends are people you can count on when you need them. You trust them to stand up for you when you need them to. I asked Kevin if he would come to my aid if I were being mugged on the Town Lake trail. "Of course, I would." We then agreed that we're friends even though we probably won't tell each other everything about anything.

Boundaries are harder to figure out. Without them, we'd all be in each other's business way too much and taking on each other's burdens and telling all of our problems to anyone who would listen.

I was overthinking this.
R. is a friend.
Boundaries be damned, I pulled my car next to him and asked how he's doing.

He wasn't good. He'd been vomiting all night, been to the E.R., got a shot, they let him out. He'd spent the night outside curled up in his sleeping bag and was on his way to find some shade now that the sun was out. He wouldn't get in the car because he didn't want to get me sick. So, I picked up some Gatorade and soup and stuff at a nearby drugstore and took it to him at his spot under the bridge near the railroad tracks. He saw my car and came out to meet me, telling me he didn't want me to get "what I got".

As for boundaries.... I thought about it, but didn't turn away. R just didn't want to take a risk of getting me sick. Because I did think about just driving away, I had to consider which one of us might really be there for the other when needed. I hope I do better next time.

getting ready for summer

I need to get a new air conditioner. There are rebates, but this is still a big expense. I've been doing my research and meeting with lots of A/C companies. I asked my neighborhood for recommendations, got several names and set up appointments almost every morning this week.

Since I bought my first home, I've had to deal with repairs. I've learned to replace floors (vinyl and ceramic tile), I've painted interior and exterior, I've done a lot of basic plumbing, installed a dog door or two, built fences (with help, of course), and in Seattle, I put a room in my basement complete with windows and electricity, thanks to the help of my neighbors.

The hardest thing is always dealing with the big companies, the people who sell heaters and a/c, the contractors who are doing big jobs can be sleazy and try to make you feel stupid so you'll pay more. It's hard because you want them to like you, but you don't want to pay them $100 to haul things off that they never touched, and you don't want to pay a clean up fee when they didn't clean up. You have to be firm and sometimes things can be uncomfortable.

Some women get a boyfriend or husband to deal with repair people. I don't see the point in this. I need the person I'm working with to be honest and clear with me. That means I have to be honest and clear to, so, getting a stunt double isn't an option.

Here's the method I've learned: I listen to my gut...and depending on what it says I either keep the card, or toss it as soon as they leave. It's not scientific but it works for me.

The first guy that came out stood over my a/c and told me couldn't tell me how good it was, but can tell me what model it is. (The model name and number is on a large sticker on top of the A/C, it's pretty easy to read, too, it's in English and everything.). I told him I could see that, I needed to know the best model for my home, the best value, etc. "Now, don't get upset, but this will be pricey." I could have fainted on the spot, or batted my eyes and him something about how my sugar daddy would take care of it, not to worry...but I kind of just looked at him like he wasn't very smart. Even as I felt the look cross my face, I couldn't stop it and turn it into anything else. It was that quick. Later when I told him what a friend had told me about my ductwork, he looked disgusted and told me "I don't know who your friend is, but I'm an airflow expert and ...on and on and on." Even if his price was the absolute lowest, this guy won't be replacing my a/c, even though I was able to talk him into an additional $200 discount which means I would get the "winter price" instead of the "spring price."

The second guy was very nice, but introduced some new a/c terms. He suggested I rake the insulation to fluff it up. He also suggested I balance the air ducts. He was very nice, but I was curious to check out insulation raking and air duct balancing with the next a/c service person, just to check this out.

The third guy tried to "jump start" my a/c with a stick, but told me never ever to try this myself. (Not to worry on that one...) He didn't like the idea of raking insulation or balancing the ducts, he was all about replacing all the ductwork, starting over, rerouting things. He made a point to tell me I had insulation dust all over my "hiney" when we came down from the attic. Something about a complete duct replacement didn't ring true to me.

The fourth appointment was with the owner of a small A/C company. He showed up in his button up shirt with the company name on it right on time. He was very nice, patient, talked to me like I was intelligent and explained things when I asked for more information. He told me the ducts wouldn't have to be replaced at all. They were the best in the world, sheet metal. Eh said he could balance them and install dampers and they would be just fine. He said I'd need a unit that was a little bigger, he recommended the model he liked best, and told me why he liked it best. He said he'd get me a bid by Monday.
He'd been recommended by several neighbors and one really good friend.

I think he's the one.


Sorry my life isn't more interesting right now. I'm capturing footage from the last roadside shoot and getting ready for lots of big stuff later this month and in May/June...at which point, I will have a working a/c.

the Texas angle...

Kat used the Texas angle today, "but I'm from Texas", as in, "I'm not from NYC, or L.A.", as in, "we're different here...slow down"

I've been using it, a bit, too.
When I called the U.K. to talk to a band's manger about music licenses we've been trying to nail down for months, I turned on my sweetest southern twang. Two days later, the licenses were signed, sealed and faxed.

The lesson of that is, sometimes it's good to be from another world, a world that moves slower, knows less and needs their attention.

I'm happy to report that all music licenses are in. Done and done! Now we can sign the contract and become filmmakers with a signed deal.

dark chocolate is in the news again

Today I learned that dark chocolate is better for us than we knew. It can even relieve high blood pressure. They have been doing a lot of tests on dark chocolate.
Sadly, the same isn't true for Ford SUVs, they apparently haven't been testing them enough. They recalled more Ford SUVs today for engine fires due to antilock brake corrosion. Nice.

Goats...

Dave's photos are full of life. Making it look easy, he began developing his eye when he first began looking around. He plays and experiments with image and color and mood.
When I lived in Seattle, David worked in my department at "the factory" and we bonded over photos and spent some time walking around downtown, cameras slung around our necks, as he helped me understand Zone. That's when I learned how wonderful it is to disappear into a crowd with a camera around your neck, a free ticket to look at things your own way.

For more great images, visit David's website: noise to signal.

Happy Easter!

(Yesterday we saw snow...will prove this with pictures very soon.)

a very Good Friday

Friday was good, indeed. Starting early, I picked up Debbie and Tracy and we headed to San Antonio for Roadside Reshoots. Barney is always delightful and today we got to meet one of his daughters, one of his 11 great grandchildren and the local cop, some visitors from Philly and some from Australia.
We then headed off to shoot some more with "Mr. Wooden Nickel", Herb. There we heard new stories, and met some local nickel enthusiasts.
On the way there and back, we caught footage of the Texas roadside.
A lot of it.
We stopped at Oma's Haus on the way home and had a little snack and talked. We talked about the importance of days where you can do what you love and how it keeps us a bit dangerous and a lot happier. We talked about the blessing of being with a man who loves that you pursue your passion and what rare beasts these men are. Rare, but happy, because how much happier can you be than to be with a partner who is happy on their own and happy that you're happy? Not much happier than that, I think. Strange that it's so rare.

Back in Austin, I dropped the ladies off, then tucked in at home long enough to begin my journey to Granbury, arriving at almost midnight to a starry cool night, and my Dad in the doorway, rushing out to help me being in my bag.

Good Friday, indeed!

Maundy Thursday

I didn't know what Maundy Thursday meant. I was raised a Baptist, not footwashin, not southern, just Baptist, "plain Baptist", as my brother and I used to tell our friends. We didn't have Lent, Maundy Thursday or do much on Good Friday. We had Easter Sunday. Easter meant white shoes, a little white bag a new dress, a good dinner, and a big Easter Egg hunt followed by lots of little Easter Egg hunts.

Maybe that's why I love being part of the Episcopalians. They are good hearted and tolerant, they have beautiful rituals, a beautifully written book of common prayer and they believe in the mystery. In fact, they are quite at peace with the mystery.
The Mystery is all we don't know, can't answer, can't make sense of, can't explain and yet, can't completely deny. It is the mysteriously simple idea that there is more, so much more, so muchly much more (as Dr. Seuss puts it) than we'll ever know.

Today, I learned that Maundy Thursday means the day of the command, or mandate. The great command in the Bible is perhaps the most difficult: Love your neighbor as yourself. This requires something that many of us struggle with, loving ourselves. It's easier to see the God in other folks. When we look within, the flaws are often more apparent, clearer and more pressing. Maundy Thursday is the day to remember that we're all made in God's image, making us all just fine as is. Even people who aren't religious (and I don't call myself religious, having gone to church just once last year), find this simple command quite profound.

I've always thought of Easter as a day that we roll the stone away, step outside and emerge a bit different, still a bit dirty and mussed, yet hopeful. I love rituals that are attached to myth and history, I love that we can step outside of our busyness, and remember that there are beginnings just like there are endings.

There is one magazine I don't ever plan to give up, The Sun. This month's issue included an interview with John O'Donohue, an author who has a PhD in philosophical theology and a former priest who lives in a cottage in the west of Ireland. You can download the interview on the Sun website, it's pretty wonderful.

Here's a Maundy Thursday thought from Dr. O'Donohue's interview:

"No two stones are the same. No two fields are the same. No two waves or stars or faces are the same. No two thoughts are the same...the true calling of everything is to be itself."

The Ann Richards' Effect

Way back when I strapped my baby into her little frontpack and walked the blocks of my Fort Worth neighborhood, passing out fliers for Ann Richards campaign for governor. My neighborhood then was marginal, slightly crime-ridden, during my time in Fort Worth I was burglarized, robbed at gun point, and had my car broken into numerous times. Still, I wasn't afraid, everyone loved Ann Richards and wanted to talk about her. Those were desperate times in Forth Worth, Texas. The real estate market was crashing, companies were leaving, and to add to that, it was one of the hottest years on record.

Ann Richards gave me hope. She wasn't afraid to speak up, to have people make fun of her or call her "brash" and "loud." She said what needed sayin.

Now, here she goes again, inspiring hundred of young girls in Austin. The new Ann Richard's School for Young Women Leaders will open in the Fall. Kat and I were at orientation, passing out information about our summer film camp and the after school film club Kat will be leading. It was really something to see the girls walking around talking about the organic gardening club, the engineering club, music, art, and even yoga classes.

I'm thrilled that I'll be part of this summer camp program at a school named after one of my personal heroes. I'm proud that Austin has such a school and I can't wait to meet some of the girls who will be going and seeing what they do next.